What is IFS?
Internal Family Systems—IFS—has no connection to what we mean when we say, “my family.” Instead, IFS is a way to get familiar with the parts that are inside each of us—our inner family. We are born with fingers, toes, arms, legs, AND parts inside of our mind! In IFS sessions, we explore those inner parts and how they affect the way we live our lives. It’s a way to become familiar with our own feelings and emotions. A good way to think of this is: “A part of me really wants to go to the party; but another part really wants to stay home and get ready for the big day tomorrow.”
IFS works on the premise that issues of the mind are generally non-pathological. That means there does not need to be a medical or mental health diagnosis. Instead the part needs to be listened to and understood. The IFS belief is that we already have everything inside of us that we need to care for ourselves. Just like when our physical bodies get hurt, they work to heal themselves, our minds and hearts work the same way. Vary will not ask, “What’s wrong with you?” She will instead ask, “How can I help you?”
In IFS sessions, Vary will help you to:
• Recognize your parts.
• Listen to your parts to hear what they want you to know.
• Understand how beliefs, assumptions, and values developed.
• Be non-judgmental as you view yourself.
• Increase your self awareness and self compassion.
During the session, Vary will guide you as needed; but you will be in the lead. Nothing is done without your permission. You work in partnership with Vary to explore and understand your inner parts. You will benefit by:
• Gaining an awareness of what parts you have and how they work.
• Becoming more caring and compassionate toward yourself.
• Understand why different emotions arise at various times.
• Experiencing healing of hurts that have been hidden.
It is not unusual to experience a new calmness as you begin to understand your inner Self.
Vary's approach to IFS = GENTLE
It is not unusual to approach a new experience feeling a bit nervous or uncertain. That is often the case. Vary will work to earn your trust and respect—to make sessions comfortable you.
When we begin working together in IFS sessions, we work together to set desired goals. That helps both practitioner and client feel they are beginning on solid ground—a mutual understanding of where we hope for the journey to take us.
Regardless what goals you may have, Vary’s approach will be to guide you to become familiar with your personal internal strength. This will be accomplished with gentle guiding, active/reflective listening, and structured awareness of newly recognized parts.
The Process of IFS
Prior to beginning sessions, you will be asked to clarify your intent for your sessions. In this way, both you and Vary know what goals are hoped for.
IFS sessions will proceed about the same each time, but will change as personal inner work is done.
Evaluation of the process will be ongoing and is part of the routine discussions. It is not unusual to experience a new calmness as you work to understand your life experiences.